Women In Relationships
When thinking about women in relationships, there are a lot of things to consider.
First of all, I am mindful of the fact when thinking of relationship questions to ask, that so many people have fixed ideas about the structure of relationships, as far as men and women are concerned.
Not only that, but I’ve come across an opinion whereby somehow this structure has a bearing on how one is seen from a masculine and feminine point of view!
That is to say, for example, if a man strays from fitting into this structure, and does not totally adhere to it, then his status as a man is questioned.
From this perspective, women in relationships are meant to know their position, and the expectations associated with that standing, and as a result there should be no relationship issues.
What this is referring to is that men and women are meant to fit in with the traditional view of set roles in relationships, and this should contribute to understanding women in relationships.
I find it astounding that this perspective is being put forward today, when we are presumed to have made advances in this regard many years ago.
This is certainly not to the advantage of women in relationships, and takes us back to the days of division of labor in the household, where women had all the responsibilities for the household and parental responsibilities.
Many women reading this are possibly confused, and wondering what I am going on about, for as far as they are concerned, there have been no changes.
I am inclined to agree, but there is a widespread belief in the community, that things have changed in that regard.
I think what has happened is there was a revolutionary period in the sixties and seventies, where there was an uprising among women, who protested about the unfairness of this division of labor, and demanded changes.
It appeared as if some changes occurred, to the advantage of women in relationships, and people got on with their lives, believing this to be the case.
In these sophisticated times, there is even reference to us now being in a post revolutionary era, as if all has been taken care of, and everything is in place.
Some acknowledge it may not be a total change, but there has been some improvement, as if that is okay.
This is a senseless position to take, as it is logically unacceptable. We either change things or we don’t, partial change is no change.
This contradictory state of affairs is supported by many surveys that clearly demonstrate the reality of the situation. They show that women in relationships, overwhelmingly carry the burden of domestic and parental responsibilities.
Often, when men are involved in these responsibilities, it is referred to as helping. This has an inference that it is not really their job, it is women’s work.
For a lot of men as well, there is an attitude they are being magnanimous, big-hearted or generous, and they deserve to be rewarded. Having sex is probably the goal for many.
I have seen couples as clients, and the women have mentioned that other women have noted how lucky they are, when they have seen their partners participating in some domestic or parental duties.
Several women have said to me, “how come I don’t feel so good?” I have suggested it would be because they are meant to be grateful and the men are now owed a reward.
As I have said, for a lot of men this probably means the women are now obliged to have sex with them, there is no longer any excuse.
Another amazing experience for some women in relationships, is their partners think that looking after their children, is baby sitting them! This is because they think doing that is not their responsibility.
Don’t get me wrong, this is not the case in all situations, but it is happening in more relationships than a lot of people realize.
The only way things can really work for both men and women in relationships, is that both partners are working on the same level.
This means there is equality between men and women. It follows that all activities are shared, there is no need for roles, nor for point scoring. Things have to be done, and they get done, by either the man or the woman.
The solution is really so simple. The problem has been we have all been thoroughly programmed and indoctrinated over a long period of time, to think in terms of men being superior and women inferior, and consequently the notion of specific roles that flows from that.
With gender equality, men and women in relationships, are able to have the sort of relationship most people don’t even realize is possible, leading to a fuller, richer and more satisfying life.
More can be found in my eBook, “How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship.”
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