Teenage Abusive Relationships
Teenage abusive relationships is another one of the areas in the huge arena of abusive relationships.
It is a sector that does not get the overall attention it warrants, particularly in the developing world, where an estimated 4 million women and girls are bought and sold worldwide , either into marriage, prostitution or slavery.
According to UNICEF, each year, at least 10,000 women and girls end up in commercial sex work in Thailand. Many Eastern European women and girls are also targeted.
In the United States, surveys show that approximately 1 in 5 female high school students are in teenage abusive relationships, where they are either physically or sexually or emotionally abused by boys with whom they are in a relationship.
Many teenage girls are in mentally abusive relationships as well as emotionally abusive relationships and verbal abusive relationships. This is often not recognized or recorded in abusive relationship statistics.
Even though there has been some focus on abusive relationships for more than thirty years, it appears there is no improvement. In fact things appear to be getting worse.
In the United States, dating violence is actually on the rise and teenage relationships where there is abuse, would come into this category.
There is much pressure to fit in and toe the line as a teenager, and girls can be susceptible to physical, sexual and emotional attack or harm, if they don’t comply.
Many girls would submit to having sex with their boyfriends in teenage abusive relationships, as part of this complying, as they would feel intimidated or scared of the possible consequences if they didn’t.
I must add, this happens in many adult relationships as well, including marriages, just to let you know this is not confined to teenagers.
Many women and girls, who have these experiences in their relationships, including marriages, more often than not, would not realize or recognize, they have been raped.
Girls, in teenage relationships where there is abuse, can be persuaded or pressured into unwanted sexual activity, by various manipulative methods, that can be very clever and effective.
A classic procedure is to subject the girl to ridicule. She can be mocked, scoffed at or jeered, and made to feel she is the odd one out, and there is something wrong with her.
Mind you, this tends to be a procedure or course of action that is regularly followed by many men against women, in sexual harassment strategies.
As for the boys who are the perpetrators in teenage abusive relationships, they are also subjected to behave with the standards required by conformity.
In their case, these pressures come from two quarters. The first is the coercion they experience from other teenage boys, which can be very strong.
The second, is the influence they receive as males from the modeling they observe with other men.
Neither of these is any excuse for the behavior and attitudes they demonstrate in teenage abusive relationships.
The modeling they get from other men is that men can treat women any way they want. Teenage boys get the memo very clearly, that men are superior and in charge, and can dominate women.
The message is that women are there for men’s benefit. They don’t matter, they are there to serve, like slaves, and that includes meeting men’s sexual needs.
Boys in teenage abusive relationships, are surrounded by these pressures, and feel they must follow them.
However, there are examples of difference that demonstrate a contrasting way of living our lives.
That is, to accept we are equal. No one is superior or inferior to the other. When we operate like this, we treat each other with respect. Abuse in any form, is not appropriate when we operate from this perspective.
We have a choice, and boys who abuse in teenage abusive relationships, have this choice, that can make all the difference to their lives, and the lives of their partners, and those they will influence for the rest of their lives.
There is more in my ebook “How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship.”
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