Relationship Tips For Women
My plan here is to share relationship tips for women who are in a relationship or who are considering getting into a relationship.
I remember when I first started as a counselor, quite a number of years ago now, I was so surprised at the number of women I saw as clients, who were being treated badly in their relationships, in all sorts of ways.
When I think about sharing relationship tips for women, I want to let you know this and tell you I was so surprised as I had not come across this before, and I was not aware it was such a big problem.
As I continued with counseling, I saw more and more women who were in a variety of abusive relationships. I also came to realize, it was an issue most others, including other counselors, did not want to know about or get involved in.
So one of the first relationship tips for women I would give you is, if you are seeking assistance in relation to any abuse you may be experiencing, it is vitally important you see someone who is knowledgeable and understanding about abusive relationship issues.
Many who are not, can be very unhelpful, even thinking that those who are abused are in some way responsible for what has happened to them, and may ask such questions as “and what did you do leading up to this?”
I recall my mother saying to me in my early days of dealing with abusive relationship issues, “what’s a man supposed to do when a woman spends all his money?” Can you imagine that?!
In terms of relationship tips for women, I would be advising you to make inquiries to find the best people to see about abusive relationship issues.
There are services set up in most large centers that specialize in dealing with domestic violence relationship issues, and they can direct you to the best people to see, or see you themselves.
Other relationship tips for women I can give you is to make sure you are not accepting blame for any abuse you experience.
I remember a woman I saw whose husband was an ogre in the home. He was not physically violent but he abused her and their two children in a range of ways and it was a very abusive relationship.
He always told her she was at fault. Early in our session I said to her, “it has nothing to do with you, you are not responsible for what he does to you and the children.”
She became transfixed. She was astonished. She had been totally convinced by him that it was all her fault. This was such a breakthrough for her, she was overjoyed.
I had seen this man in a session sometime before I saw the woman, and other relationship tips for women I can give you is to let you know many men can be such good actors.
This man was one of the best, he presented himself to me as being such a gentleman. Very calm, relaxed, quietly spoken and articulate. How could anyone imagine, or accuse him, of being abusive.
Over time there were a number of women I saw as clients who had been in several abusive relationships and had experienced similar things in each one.
Their question was “how come we choose men like this?” They thought it was all to do with them. My response was “difficult to avoid, as this is so common.”
What is the problem, why is it like this? Probably one of the most important relationship tips for women I can give you is to say, there is a world wide belief that men are superior or better.
Women are inferior and less than men, and if men so choose, as many do, not all, they have every right to assume the position of the master and treat this inferior lot in any way they want to.
In my view this is the crux of many relationship problems, and the main reason why so many relationships are in a mess. This domination occurs in all sorts of ways, many of them very subtle.
The best relationship tips for women I can give you is to say the only way things can work in relationships is for each person to be accepted as equal.
When this happens, relationships can work. My last tips for women in a relationship is to insist you never accept anything less
You can find more in my ebook, How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship.”
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I should ad my goal in what I'm presenting here on my website, is to help as many people as possible, to have an extraordinary relationship. I am passionate about achieving this as I know there are any number of people who are missing out on what is possible, and with the relationship tips I am providing, it can make all the difference to their lives!
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