Relationship revenge involves inflicting hurt or harm, or getting back at in some way, on one’s partner, or ex-partner, for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands.
There are examples of this occurring during the time of the relationship, but the more extreme forms are more likely to happen after the couple have separated.
There are a whole range of incidents that come into the relationship revenge category, it all depends on the relationship problems that have occurred leading up to someone feeling they need to take this course of action.
It seems unnecessary to emphasize when relationship questions occur during the time a couple are still together, it is an indication the relationship is not functioning well.
It is clear there must be relationship problems between the couple they need to resolve rather than indulge in obvious acts of revenge.
Probably the most common relationship issues, with most couples who share a house that leads to such activity, are associated with the responsibilities of running a household.
Whenever surveys are done, the percentage of the responsibilities for doing the chores, and the parenting, is still overwhelmingly one sided.
There is no need to even mention which way the figures are skewed, as it is obvious which group the bias leans towards.
The relationship revenge that is generated from here is fueled by the underlying resentment that builds up.
Almost without exception, when this is a relationship issue with couples, this can be an ongoing source of disharmony, that leads to wanting to get back at one’s partner in some way.
One does not have to be Einstein to figure out what format the relationship revenge would usually take!
In fact it would usually involve a process. It would be brought up as a relationship issue in the first place (guess who would bring it up? I’m not giving any hints!!).
It may achieve some sort of result, as the other partner (I’m not specifying which one, I’m leaving that to you!) has figured out the connection between the lack of certain encounters they are experiencing, and what they need to do to change this.
The result can be everything seems okay for a while. However, it doesn’t take long to figure out the change in activity is conditional.
The other partner soon recognizes this and the resulting resentment adds fuel to the fire leading to more sexual relationship problems.
An aspect of the conditional activity that inflames this response, is, that the other partner is expected to be grateful, and recognize some form of acknowledgment is guaranteed, and there are no longer any grounds for more revenge.
This leads to a vicious circle, as the feeling of indebtedness contributes to further grounds for relationship revenge, as it becomes another burden to bear.
The only way this can be resolved is for each couple to recognize these responsibilities need to be shared. They are not any one partner’s responsibilities more than the other’s.
This leads to harmony in the relationship, with no need for any underlying relationship revenge.
I chose to take this as the primary focus in what I have written as I’m sure this happens in so many relationships.
It is such a shame and so unnecessary, and there is a simple solution. If only the partners who are the ones primarily responsible for not sharing, can see this, and act on it. This will mean there is no need for relationship revenge in this area.
I have covered more about this in my ebook “How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship.”
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Return from Relationship Revenge to Trust in Relationships