My Relationship Tip

Relationship lesson: Don’t make someone a priority in your life when you are just an option in theirs.

This holds true for all relationships. They work out for the best only if they are balanced. This means that the level of commitment between both people should be of equal intensity. Otherwise, these relationships that are unbalanced and uneven, usually last for a short while. They either don’t survive at all or in the rare cases that they do, they end up being more of a compromise than a true relationship.

My sister was married to such a man. She was in university when she met him. He was her professor, twelve years senior to her. They clicked instantly because they both shared the same interests. Highly intellectual, fond of reading and travelling, they were on the same wavelength. But, what she forgot in all of this was that you need more than common hobbies to spend your life with a person. She became the perfect, devoted wife, but he didn’t reciprocate.

He still gave priority to his work, his friends and his old lifestyle. Basically, he wasn’t willing to or rather ready to change. For him, marriage was another interest or newly acquired hobby, not a whole new life.

The ugly truth dawned upon her soon afterwards. She struggled and fought, became frustrated and desperate, but ultimately gave up. He had seen more of life than her and for him; she was the flavor of the month or maybe year at the most.

After they divorced, she remained bitter and angry for almost a year. She isolated herself from family, refused to socialize with friends and became a hermit. Then, slowly she unfolded her wings again and began to fly. She discovered her own self and realized that she was worth more than he valued. She finally understood that it was not a relationship to begin with anyway. It was a heat-of-the-moment, rushed decision and the best option for both of them was to bail out immediately.

That’s life…sometimes very cruel, sometimes kind.

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