Father Son Relationship
Father son relationship is very important in many ways, not least of all because of the impact modeling has on us as individuals.
As boys, the strongest influence anyone can have is our fathers. As fathers, this occurs regardless of whether we are aware of it or not. This influence can have far reaching affects that can be either positive or negative.
We are at a time in the world where many changes are occurring. One of these changes is the difference in roles that is being taken on by men. Here is where the father son relationship comes to the fore.
Let’s not kid ourselves, however, as there is still quite a difference between the supposed changes and the reality of the situation. Any surveys that are conducted clearly indicate roles are very much slanted to the disadvantage of women.
For any substantial and significant ongoing changes to take hold, it is paramount fathers model equality between men and women to their sons, rather than the master slave relationship model that is demonstrated in some relationships.
This can only happen when sons see their fathers sharing all the domestic and parenting responsibilities with their mothers, without any distinction.
This means that when fathers are involved in any of these activities, sons are able to see, it is not a matter of being generous or magnanimous, nor indeed is it classed as helping, but as part of the obligations associated with healthy, functioning, marriages or relationships.
It will mean both sons and daughters are influenced by this demonstration. It will follow that boys and girls will make no distinctions in terms of the chores children are expected to share in the running of any household. For example, washing the dishes will not be seen as something only girls are required to do.
As can be seen by this example, the father son relationship can have far reaching consequences that can be observed in any nuclear family when the father is involved in the family to this extent.
In reality it is so simple, and the benefits are immense for everyone, yet we still have so far to go.
Another outcome of this modeling in the father son relationship, is that sons are shown how to respect women. They learn to connect with them as equals and this is noticed in the way they relate to them, and how relationship communication problems are avoided.
In this context sons see their fathers communicating with their mothers. They observe them listening and empathizing. They see their parents being relaxed and having fun, and enjoying being together. Any fun relationship questions they may have had are answered in these observations.
In this type of demonstration of the father son relationship, sons are acknowledged and loved, and this is expressed verbally, and physically by hugging.
The ongoing consequence of this is that sons naturally carry on the same way as they go through the stages of life. They duplicate their father’s behavior when they put into practice the stages of a healthy relationship in their own relationships, and in their role as parents.
Let’s not underestimate the compelling nature of the modeling involved in this type of father son relationship.
This replication is so powerful it has the capacity to change the world. As Margaret Mead said, "A small group of thoughtful people change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
That may seem like an overambitious or grandiose plan to reform the world, but a snowballing effect can be the consequences of a good father son relationship.
An example of this is that throughout the world, it is now perfectly acceptable and natural for men to hug each other.
This happens now in any context, an example is in the big macho tough guy sports. There are times when you see each player hug all their fellow team members before they go out to play a game. And of course there are the celebratory hugs that happen naturally when they score or win a game.
As little as around thirty years ago, this would never have happened, and even slight touching of another man, would raise questions about your masculinity, or sexual orientation. There are no such queries, ever, today.
It is easy to forget things used to be different. For younger people they would not even realize there has been this change.
I look forward to the day when changes are in place throughout the world, that are an outcome of the multiplication of the good father son relationship, and people can’t even remember when things were different, and there will not even be a need to think about what relationship questions to ask.
There is more in my eBook “How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship.”
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