Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship
Now it is time to have some fun. There are so many characteristics of a healthy relationship that I’m looking forward to sharing with you.
When you have these characteristics it makes so much difference to your experience of life. It means you will have a fuller, richer, more pleasurable and satisfying life.
It means you have a marriage/relationship/partnership beyond your wildest dreams. You have the characteristics of a healthy relationship that many have no idea is possible.
Your lives are fulfilled and this is not possible for those who do not experience healthy love relationships.
The first characteristic of a healthy relationship is that each person is of equal status. This means neither one is superior or inferior, nor is anyone in charge of or accountable to the other.
In most marriages/relationships the man is in charge or the head of the family. It has been generally thought this is the way families are meant to be.
There are views put forward to support this position. It is the experience most of us have had in our own upbringing, and is generally thought to be normal, but it is not one of the traits of a healthy relationship
Given it is contrary to the first characteristic of a healthy relationship that I have proposed, I expect there will be some controversy about this.
Nevertheless, equal status is essential as one of the signs of a healthy relationship. It is the foundation of all the other characteristics of a healthy relationship.
This means there is no place for traditional roles in a healthy relationship. There is none of: “this is what the man does,” “this is what the woman does.” Whatever has to be done gets done.
When there is equal status, couples share all the required tasks. There is no point scoring or thinking in terms of ‘helping’, as is often the case when men think most household chores are ‘women’s work’.
Included here also is that parenting is shared. It means when these tasks are shared, the load is lightened, leading to other characteristics of healthy relationships.
For example there is no resentment, which there can be when one person, usually the woman, is left carrying the bundle.
This leads to other characteristics of a healthy relationship such as there is harmony and peacefulness as there is no need for any underlying bad feelings.
Recently when having a haircut, I was having a chat with my barber, as you do, and he said to me “do you really think it is possible for men and women to have an harmonious relationship?”
There does seem to be a suggestion in his question that he doesn’t think so. All the more amazing when I tell you that he is married with a young child and expecting another.
When there is equal status it follows you have other characteristics of a healthy relationship such as connection and good communication.
When you have unequal status it is not possible to connect and really communicate as you are operating from different levels, and this goes against the characteristics of healthy relationships.
How often do women say men don’t listen to them. I think this is because a lot of men see themselves on a different level and they are more or less saying “I don’t have to listen to you, who do you think you are, you’re not on my level.”
I think this happens at a subconscious level because as males we are encouraged to see ourselves as being superior to women.
Other characteristics of a healthy relationship that follows is that it is now possible to have great sex. When there is a lack of equal status the focus is usually on the male and it is all about achieving orgasm in intercourse and that is it. There is often no thought about the woman’s needs
Now it is possible to connect and communicate and explore and discover what each one wants. Each person’s needs are considered. Anything that is acceptable to each partner can be pursued.
There are so many other characteristics of healthy relationships to mention. Such things as having true friendship and intimacy.
I find it interesting to observe couples in places like restaurants and cafes. There are some who appear to be like strangers. They are just there, with no obvious connection, friendship or intimacy, totally lacking any of the elements of a healthy relationship. It seems so sad. It could be so different.
Other characteristics of a healthy relationship include the following: Peace, Joy, Humor, Fun, Love, Happiness, Freedom, Mutual Respect, Confidence, Loyalty, Trust etc., etc.
It enables us to have what Victor Hugo says, "The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved."
In my ebook, “How To Have An Extraordinary Relationship” I go into a lot of detail about what gets in the way for so many people that stops them from having the characteristics of a healthy relationship. I explore how we all have the chance to change this and have a healthy relationship. The choice is ours.
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I should ad my goal in what I'm presenting here on my website, is to help as many people as possible, to have an extraordinary relationship. I am passionate about achieving this as I know there are any number of people who are missing out on what is possible, and with the relationship tips I am providing, it can make all the difference to their lives!
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