Building Trust In Relationships
Building trust in relationships is crucial for them to be capable of working successfully. This appears so obvious it seems unnecessary to mention it.
Nevertheless, I am going to write about this and elaborate on a number of issues that contribute to the establishment of trust between two people in an ongoing committed partnership.
Those of you who have been reading other things I have written will notice there is one thing I keep emphasizing, and that is, for any relationship to be genuine and have authenticity, particularly when it comes to trust, it is essential there is equality between the couple, otherwise handling relationship problems can be difficult.
This is a requirement for building trust in relationships. I do not believe it is possible to have trust that could be regarded as the real thing, when there is an imbalance between two people who are together as a couple.
As much as people may pretend there is trust between two people when there is unequal status, it is impossible this would be so, leading to marriage relationship problems.
This is because the person who is inferior, does not have the same rights as the person who is superior, and thus could not expect that trust would be guaranteed between them.
If there is no certainty of an outcome of trust between two people in such a situation, the only other option is that it could not be relied on that there is trust, as one could never be completely confident or sure about it, and you could end up with a serious relationship problem.
In such a case, there is no substitute for building trust in relationships, as this is a necessity.
When you do have this trust in your relationship, there is a range of possibilities you can expect to have, meaning you have a totally different experience compared to not having a guarantee of trust.
When there is no assurance that the conditions for trust will be fulfilled, there can never be any certainty about the outcome of anything, and this can be one of the common problems in a relationship such as this.
An example of this would be when the person who is in the upper position indicates they are going somewhere or will be doing something, the person in the lower position would, most likely, never be sure if they can believe that or not.
This happens in a lot of relationships and leaves the person in the lower position in an unsettled or agitated state of mind.
The only way building trust in relationships is possible is to change the structure or composition of the relationship. Attempts at doing anything else will have no relevance to establishing trust between a couple, or fix relationship problems.
Other methods that are attempted amount to condescension by doing things in a scornful way, as though it is below one’s dignity or level of importance, and shows feelings of superiority and a patronizing attitude.
The person who thinks they are making an effort by behaving in this manner, has no awareness of the negative impact of their actions. On the contrary, they can be thinking they have done the right thing and made up for any wrongdoings. and avoiding relationship problems.
An example of this with some people as a way of building trust in relationships, is to do such things as buying flowers, thinking this will make up for anything that has occurred, and avoiding relationship problems.
I have had the experience with a number of women as clients who have indicated to me the mere sight of a bunch of flowers has had the opposite effect on them, and is not a way to fix relationship problems.
They feel it is a manipulative act aimed at getting the giver back in the ‘good books’ rather than any indication of understanding the relationship problems that prompted the gesture
As indicated earlier, the only way of building trust in relationships, is to have equality between each person. No one person can be superior or inferior to the other and expect there is going to be trust between them.
When there is equality, each is able to have the respect and regard for the other that leads to many outcomes. Flowing on from the level of trust that is built into relationships is the connection and intimacy, communication, fun, harmony, joy and better sexual relations etc., that is possible between couples.
This means when people have established building trust in their relationships in this way, they are able to have a richer, fuller and more satisfying life experience.
There is more in my eBook, “How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship”
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