Traits of a Healthy Relationship
There are a lot of traits of a healthy relationship I will be covering in this section.
Before sharing any of these with you, I want to make a point. I imagine you are trying to find these traits because you want to improve your relationship.
As much as you might want to include the traits of a healthy relationship in your relationship, there are a number of influences that block your way.
One of these is, you must have an open mind. That is the only way you are going to let anything in. The mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open.
Our minds can be firmly closed, as if there is a firewall in place, preventing anything from entering.
Barriers can appear in various guises such as, “this is the way it has always been,” or you have been taught certain things by your family or religion, that are in contrast to what I’m proposing.
The traits of a healthy relationship, can differ from what you have been brought up to believe from other influences as well.
These include the impact of society and conformity, thinking you have to comply with behavior in accordance with socially accepted conventions and standards, and doing so in an unquestioning manner.
It is so important to highlight these possible hindrances to being open to the traits of a healthy relationship, because I can be sharing these traits with you, and they could be going straight over your head, as the saying goes.
I’ll give you an example of what I mean. For years I have been making the point that we must make a distinction between anger and aggression.
No matter how often I have said this, I become aware that no matter how often I have said it before, it has made no difference to those to whom I have shared this idea, as they continue to identify anger and aggression as being the same.
So when I talk about the traits of a healthy relationship, it is most important you understand this differentiation.
I am not surprised there is this dilemma, as common usage in society has contributed to this problem. But that is my point, society and conformity is so overpowering, it blocks people from thinking differently.
So I am going to spell it out, so you can understand what I am saying, and you can make use of this distinction, as one of the traits of a healthy relationship, you can include in your relationship. Are you ready?
Anger is a feeling any of us can experience during our lives. We have every right to express this feeling the same way we express any other feeling.
For example, “I am angry with you because of what you did, and I don’t want you to do that again.” This is done in a reasonable way, the same way we express any other feeling.
It does not involve screaming or shouting or hitting or throwing or threatening or whatever. If we behave in any of these ways we are being aggressive or violent.
I hope I have made this clear to you. Even though you have thought differently about this before, you can now benefit from this new information. It can be one of the ways you incorporate one of the traits of a healthy relationship in your relationship.
In fact when you have finished reading the information contained on this page, before you do anything else, it would be helpful for you to do your own healthy relationship quiz, to check where you stand in the healthy relationship test.
Having established that, I now want to share with you what I think is the most important trait. I believe this has to be incorporated as the foundation, or the distinguishing quality or characteristic of a healthy relationship. Are you sure you are open and ready for this? Just checking!!
Here it is. There has to be equality between you. Each of you is on the same level. Neither one is superior or inferior to the other. No one is in charge.
All the other traits of a healthy relationship flow from here. Everything is shared, especially household and parenting responsibilities. There are no specific roles. There is no reference to helping, inferring it is the other’s role.
When men do anything domestically, it is usually referred to as helping, as if it is the woman’s role.
When there is equality, there is genuine respect for each other. There is connection, intimacy, acknowledgment etc., etc. When you have these traits of a healthy relationship as part of your relationship, you have the opportunity to have a more fulfilling, satisfying and rewarding life. So go for it and enjoy yourselves!
You can find more in my ebook “How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship.”
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I should ad my goal in what I'm presenting here on my website, is to help as many people as possible, to have an extraordinary relationship. I am passionate about achieving this as I know there are any number of people who are missing out on what is possible, and with the relationship tips I am providing, it can make all the difference to their lives!
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