Signs Of A Bad Relationship
When thinking about the signs of a bad relationship, there are so many areas to take into consideration.
Firstly, of course, there are all the more obvious signs that have been touched on elsewhere. These are all types of abuse, such as physical, sexual, verbal, emotional and psychological.
These are clear signs of a bad relationship, and as I have gone into these elsewhere in the section on signs of an abusive relationship, I don’t plan to go into these in detail here.
Suffice to say when these are part of what happens in a relationship and create huge relationship problems, it is vitally important not to put up with it no matter what. I know this can be easy enough to say and that many will indicate it is not as simple as that.
Regardless, I’m also aware how this can go on for a long time and I know how many people can hope things will change, but they don’t.
This can be based on seeing signs that you interpret as an indication of difference, and you latch onto these as confirmation of change. This can become a pattern that is repeated over and over. Before you know it, many years have passed by.
The older I get, the more I realize how quickly time has passed. We all deserve to enjoy our lives as we only have one chance at it. So why allow ourselves to stay in a relationship that has such obvious signs that it is a bad relationship.
Then of course we have the less obvious signs of a bad relationship that are, nonetheless, equally important when we consider our well-being.
Areas that come up for consideration here, are such things as relationship compatibility questions. If a couple is not compatible, it is difficult to have an harmonious relationship, or for them to feel well suited.
It is important to realize what we mean by compatible. It could be very helpful for many couples to conduct their own relationship compatibility quiz. One of the main aspects to this is that people are like-minded. That is to say they share beliefs about a whole range of things.
For example, they hold similar views about religion and politics. Sometimes people can stay together claiming they do so as they love each other, but they hold very different views in relation to these very fundamental areas.
I would see this as one of the signs of a bad relationship, as I think it precludes the possibility of having affinity and closeness.
Someone I know left a relationship of 8 years with a man she said she loved, but there were many relationship compatibility questions.
She is now in another relationship that is totally different, and they are very similar. She says how wonderful it is as she is more relaxed and is able to be herself.
Another one of the signs of a bad relationship is where couples have different attitudes. If one partner is cynical, and the other has a positive attitude, it is very difficult for them to pass the compatibility relationship test.
People who are cynical are distrustful of human sincerity or integrity. They are usually contemptuous and mocking. They are skeptical, doubtful, distrustful, suspicious, disillusioned, disenchanted, discouraging, negative and pessimistic.
It’s enough to effect how you feel isn’t it? In fact how could you feel anything other than unhappy. I felt bad enough just even writing those words.
If you have a positive attitude, it usually means you are enthusiastic, supportive, encouraging, helpful, hopeful, cheerful, satisfied, favorable, approving, upbeat and optimistic. The outcome is one feels happy.
How could people possibly pass the compatibility relationship test having opposing attitudes like that? I am aware of a number of people where this has been the case, and of course they have been recipes for relationship issues.
People can stay in these marriages or partnerships where there are signs of a bad relationship, for what seem like high moral principles.
More often than not, it will be for the sake of the children, as conventional wisdom is that it is always better to stay together for that reason.
This is not necessarily the case, as being in families where there are these signs of a bad relationship, can be detrimental to the children, and therefore it is not a good idea to stay together for their sakes.
One family I saw as clients stands out to me. It was not a matter of the relationship being totally disastrous at all, but the couple were not happy together, but remained so for the children.
They waited till the children were in their late adolescence, and thought they would be able to cope with their parents separation at that stage. The response from the children was they wondered why their parents hadn’t separated a long time ago.
The clear message here is, never to underestimate the common sense of children. They are much more aware than they are given credit for.
In my ebook “How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship,” I spell out in more detail the signs of a bad relationship and what the options are.
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