Quotes On Relationships
There are many quotes on relationships and I am going to focus on a few of them in this section to highlight how they can have a big impact on the way we think.
One of those quotes is: “it takes two to tango”. We hear this often and it is regularly put forward as a way of explaining or understanding what happens between couples in a range of situations.
So much so, for example, with abusive relationships this is the quote that is regularly put forward to suggest that the abuse is a two way thing, as if the person being abused is just as responsible for the abuse as the abuser.
This is one of the quotes on relationships, in these circumstances, that is so unhelpful, as it dismisses the seriousness of the situation, and downplays the responsibility of the abuser.
When this happens, it infers that those who are abused, usually women, have somehow had some part to play in their own abuse.
It is suggested that the woman has provoked the man to cause this to happen to her, and this is one of the questions people often ask when women are abused.
I was astounded on one occasion when my mother said to me, “what’s a man supposed to do when a woman spends all his money?” Can you believe that?
There are a number of things that are implied in her question. Firstly, it assumes the money is his, and not hers as well, as if she has no right to it.
Secondly, it implies that “it takes two to tango” as one of the quotes on relationships, plays a part in this predicament as if the man is perfectly justified in his behavior, and has every right to treat her this way, and it is not seen as one of the signs of an abusive relationship.
Obviously, it would seem that someone in this position would not receive any sympathy from my mother. On the other hand, you would have to wonder if she fully realized what she was implying in her question.
Nevertheless, this is indicative of the views of many people when it comes to their attitudes about abusive relationships. And it demonstrates how one of the quotes on relationships, such as “it takes two to tango”, has a big impact on how people think.
Another quote that has had a huge impact is the quote “men are from mars women are from venus.” In my experience it is rare to find anyone who has not heard this quote.
Many would not realize it is the title of a book first published as recently as 1992. It has become one of the quotes on relationships that one comes across everywhere. It has spread rapidly in a relatively short period of time.
Of course the inference is that men and women are so different it would seem we have come from different planets.
There is no scientific basis for this belief, but of course it fits in with the commonly accepted view, held by people generally, that this is the reality.
It is put forward as a way of understanding marriage relationship problems, and there are many who believe it has validity. I just don’t happen to be one of them.
As one of the quotes on relationships, my view is that it is not helpful as it makes excuses for things that happen. For example when it comes to the way a lot of men are, women are encouraged to accept this as a given and must make allowances.
Just one example is the apparent inability of many men to express their feelings. This is a common experience a lot of women have with men, and leads to relationship communication problems.
In reality, these supposed differences between men and women are an outcome of the socialization process we all go through from the day we are born.
The process is very thorough and goes on continuously. We are immersed in it, and surrounded by it in the modeling we see demonstrated to us by all those born before us.
As men, we are encouraged to see ourselves as better than women. We are taught that showing feelings is okay for inferior beings but is not acceptable for us superior lot. Of course we are not superior, and it is perfectly acceptable to express our feelings.
As one of the quotes on relationships in my view, it contributes to the ongoing basic relationship problems, rather than providing solutions.
There is more in my ebook, “How To Have An Extraordinary Relationship.”
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