Maintaining Healthy Relationships
Maintaining healthy relationships is important because they are very precious. There are so many unhealthy relationships that a lot of people would have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like.
In order for all of you who are reading this to be clear about what is meant by a healthy relationship as far as I am concerned, I thought it would be beneficial if I were to expand on how I understand what that means for me.
Before I do that I need to state it is very likely there will be some among you who will disagree with what I say about some aspects of maintaining healthy relationships.
I expect this to be so because of instructions you have had throughout your lifetime, that have informed your beliefs about your understanding of the structure of the family, particularly about the position of the husband and father.
I should let you know about an experience I had some years ago when I was invited by the head of a Mormon church to give an address to the members of the church.
This followed from dealings I had with him in relation to an elder in his church he had referred to me for counseling.
Prior to my talk, he took me aside to tell me what their church’s beliefs were in relation to the structure of the family, to make sure I was clear about that, particularly the position of the husband and father.
I simply told him my views would not coincide with that, without saying any more to him, and proceeded with my address to the group about aspects of maintaining healthy relationships.
One of the primary points I made was there is no need for the man to hold the position of head of the family.
I’ve probably lost some of you now as you may be thinking there is no need to read any more if he says stuff like this.
For the few of you who are still here, I’ll let you know my reasoning behind such a view, and what I had to say to the group.
This tradition of the man being the head of the family has developed from the idea that men have a higher status, or are superior to women and children.
Because of this men have tended to adopt the role of the master, or the one in charge in the family, often with alarming consequences for women and children.
If we are serious about maintaining healthy relationships, the fundamental basis for doing so, is there is no imbalance between the couple, which is an inevitable outcome of having one of the partners in charge of, or the head of, the family.
In terms of building a healthy relationship, it involves a partnership between two equals with responsibilities shared. There is no place for roles which is the outcome when you have a boss, and you end up with a master/servant situation.
After I spoke to the group of Mormons, I virtually got a standing ovation. A large section came up to tell me they had been saying these type of things for ages, and they weren’t being listened to.
Having equality between the couple as the cornerstone for maintaining healthy relationships is so refreshing.
It means there can always be a relaxed atmosphere regardless of the circumstances, and no serious relationship problem. Maintenance of the relationship is a priority, and it happens spontaneously.
Handling relationship problems is dealt with straightaway, in a calm and easy manner. As freedom from tension and anxiety is priceless, restraints are not tolerated.
By contrast, unhealthy relationships are identifiable by an atmosphere filled with stress and relationship problems, resentment, harbored anger, sadness, unease, lack of joy and fun, unhappiness etc., with a poor state of health being a potential outcome.
Today many people are immersed in an excess of unhappiness. Surveys indicate depression is at a level never seen before.
We do have choices. One of those is the opportunity we all have of maintaining healthy relationships.
If this means changes need to be made to have a healthy relationship in the first place, so be it. The outcome is worth whatever is required. There is no excuse for delays.
More can be found in my ebook “How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship”.
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If there are any particular issues you would like me to go into, or expand on , I would be only too happy to do so. All I would ask is that you be very specific about what you would like me to respond to.
I should ad my goal in what I'm presenting here on my website, is to help as many people as possible, to have an extraordinary relationship. I am passionate about achieving this as I know there are any number of people who are missing out on what is possible, and with the relationship tips I am providing, it can make all the difference to their lives!
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