Gay Relationship Advice
I’m going to be covering gay relationship advice in this section. I am not gay myself, so I hope, if I offer some advice, I won’t be considered presumptuous, or that I’m failing to observe the limits of what is permitted or appropriate, by those of you who are gay or lesbian.
I will be dealing with areas that are part of any relationship, whether homosexual or heterosexual.
As it happens, given I have specialized in the area of abusive relationships, I have seen people, in both gay and lesbian relationships, where abuse has been an issue.
I plan to give gay relationship advice on this issue. I expect there will be some among you who will not agree with my synopsis or rundown on this.
I won’t be surprised, as I come across that response so often, when I’m dealing with heterosexual couples in relation to the issue of abuse.
I think the reason for this reaction, is because there is so much misunderstanding in the community generally, about the problem.
Many myths abound that fuel this misinterpretation. So in terms of gay relationship advice, these myths are the same, no matter what our sexual orientation happens to be.
One of the most common fallacies, is that abuse in relationships is connected with drugs and alcohol. It is often mentioned as being integral to the problem, almost as if it is an essential element contributing to this behavior.
There is no denying this is part of the issue with some people, but it is not intrinsically linked.
My experience has been, during the many years I have dealt with this issue, drugs and alcohol have been associated with a minority of the people I have seen as clients.
I’m willing to speculate, that as part of the gay relationship advice you may have come across previously, you have never heard that before.
There is generally an assumption that either alcohol or drugs are involved.
Another widely held, but false belief or idea, is that this problem is only associated with certain categories or groups of people. Such as, it is connected with working class, or a lower class group. Of course, this is obviously not accurate.
It is an issue that is found in all categories across the globe. Again in my many years experience, I have seen people as clients from every continent, and a broad range of categories.
There are more explanations I could tell you about, as there are many others I believe are equally unhelpful.
I now want to share with you, in my next piece of gay relationship advice, what I think is the most helpful way of understanding the problem of abusive relationships.
This is a huge problem. A figure that is constantly being mentioned is that 1 in 3 relationships is abusive, and that usually only refers to the physical.
Overwhelmingly, in heterosexual relationships, it is the male who is the perpetrator
You are probably wondering already how this can be relevant to gay and lesbian relationships, and how I can give gay relationship advice in relation to this problem.If you bear with me, I will give you a view that may prove helpful.
As it is usually the male who is the perpetrator, the only way that I have been able to make sense of this problem, is that it is related to the fact that as males we have been programmed to see ourselves as superior or better than women.
From this position we have tended to adopt the position of master, or the one in charge, who has been encouraged to develop a temperament of dominance.
This gets played out where some men hold power over, dictate, control or dominate in a whole range of ways. I say some men, as it is a choice. The only way relationships can work, is when both partners are equal, on the same level.
In terms of gay relationship advice, I have seen gay and lesbian couples where there has been terrible abuse. The only explanation I can give here is that almost all of us have been brought up in traditional heterosexual families.
We have had the modeling where one person is in charge or the head of the family. We see demonstrated to us that this person is more important, and can do whatever they want. Sometimes this can be extreme, often it is subtle.
The final bit of gay relationship advice I am going to give about this is, I think this modeling has an impact on our subconscious, and it is very easy for any one, gay or heterosexual, to adopt this format in our relationships.
There is more information in my ebook “How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship”.
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